Exhausted

Lack of motivation is going to be a recurring theme of this blog, and it's really frustrating to me. In all kinds of ways, I want to accomplish a lot, both professionally and athletically, yet for some reason, I am my own worst enemy. I get started really well, and then I fall off the wagon. Exercise-wise, last week was phenomenal. I ran 5 days and did p90x 4 days...and lost 4 pounds. This week, I ran ONCE, did p90x ONCE and I can see the weight piling back on. Additionally, I'm exhausted. Granted, last night I only got about 5 hours sleep, but then I took a 5 hour nap this afternoon. Crazy. And, as soon as I finish this post, I'll go back to bed and likely sleep a solid 7 hours.

I do have one bright spot to report: I finished a stitch project yesterday. It's a small project for a friend, but it only took me a couple of weeks, which is a record for me. Working on it every day was a key to finishing. Now, I need to apply that consistency to other areas of my life.

I know I've made a lot of progress on many of my issues, especially in the last six months or so, but consistency and motivation are the big ones that really inhibit my success in so many areas. It's times like this when I really ache for a partner who can encourage me and push me. If I can't have a partner, a 'kindred spirit' would be so helpful as well; one who actually lived in the same town as me. I feel so isolated and my reaction is to sit on my couch and watch tv, eat mostly bad food and feel sorry for myself. And all the volunteering in the world won't make that better, it seems. I need companionship, and I fear that loneliness is my lot. And that's exhausting.