As we were waiting for the softball game to start tonight, the captain of my team and I were talking about the fact that I've had the same glove since I was 9 or 10 and I should probably get a new one since there was no padding left in mine. He suggested that I get a first baseman's glove since that's my position. I've been playing first base pretty much since I started with this team two summers ago, largely because I fell down my basement stairs during the second week of the season and wrenched my right shoulder as I grabbed the railing to keep from falling the whole way down. Due to the wrenching, I couldn't really throw the ball from the outfield and they put me on first so I could do something productive. Turns out, I'm pretty good.
Anyhow, the captain suggested I get a first basemen's glove and I suggested that I might not always play first base. His response: You're so good, there's no way we're moving you. Now, this is a beer league softball team made up of mostly nonathletic academics, so "good" has a pretty loose definition, but it was a nice thing to say. He went on to say that I was the reason there was a co-ed team from our department. This seemed really crazy, so I pressed him about what he meant. He said that it was rare to find a female player who was really good at first base, and having such a player was critical because it allowed us to play a guy on third base. Blah, blah, blah, accusations of sexism, blah, blah, blah, and the end result was that if our team didn't have a good female first basemen, it would have been hard to recruit enough guys to play.
Now, to me this is crazy generally, but it's even crazier because all I do is catch the ball. Seriously, I barely field and just catch the ball with my foot on the bag. It's true that the left side of our infield can get a little wild and I have had some spectacular catches, but the idea that the team would be impossible to field without me on first is just a crazy thing...and a very flattering compliment. Which, of course, I had real difficulty accepting.
I'm not sure why I don't believe people when they say nice things to me, but I don't. I try to argue with them and convince they why I'm not as good/worthy/whatever as they seem to think. I'm trying to learn to say "thank you" and leave it at that, but it's hard. Funnily, even if I do manage not to argue with the person, in my head, I still say what I would have said to the person aloud.
Apparently, I'm indispensable to my beer league softball team. Thank you.
2 Comments:
I believe that the ability to accept compliments and praise is a learned behavior. Many people are fortunate to learn it young, others have to learn it as adults. I am one of the latter, just as you are. It takes time, but it is possible to learn, I promise. While learning it young may have made life easier, FWIW I think that learning it as an adult helps us to be more empathetic and sensitive to other people. No ego monsters here! ;-)
I think the reason I have so much trouble accepting compliments is because I was always told as a kid to check my ego at the door. (Thanks, Mom and Dad.) I never figured out what a healthy dose of confidence looked like, so any time people seemed to be building me it, it was uncomfortable. It still is, but it's getting a little better.
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